i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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