# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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