OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize