i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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