you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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