Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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