Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize