I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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