I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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