Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i've created a new STD.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize