i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize