I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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