It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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