that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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