And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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