she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize