Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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