no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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