i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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