everyone is single if you try hard enough
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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