I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize