Pappa wants mamma naked
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just forgot I was standing up.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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