I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
People in love make me want to vomit
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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