I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize