Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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