I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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