you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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