summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize