I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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