oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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