All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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