I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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