all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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