It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
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Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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