I want to stick my p in your. b.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
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Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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