the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
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They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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