I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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