The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
its not stalking. its research.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize