when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize