ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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