Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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