Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize