Me too!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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