Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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