Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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