i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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