Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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