a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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