I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize