I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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